Day 1. It starts over again. Trader Joe’s stopped selling Dark Chocolate Almonds with Sea Salt and Turbinado Sugar and it was sad. I ended up with a jar of Cookie Butter instead. Heavenly. Better than Nutella, even. The label says product of the Netherlands, go figure. Is there anything good that the Dutch don’t make? ANS: No. EXAMPLES: Cookie Butter, Leyden Cheese, fries with mayonaise.
(Source: Spotify)
OH MY GAHHH, I love dogs!Partially blind dog Milo is helped around by his personal guide dog and companion Bella, in Melbourne, Australia. Bella guides Milo along on a lead and also barks warnings to him.Picture: Manuela Cifra/Newspix / Rex Features (via Pictures of the day: 9 May 2012 - Telegraph)
5/4
Then we picked up my new glasses & sunglasses. Hooray, they fit my face! My glasses are, as I was told, a men’s style. Dude. I got some Ray Bans & now Bobby says I’m a hipster.
After watching copious amounts of TV, we had a nice dinner at St. Francis. Once we were seated the song “Heartbeats” came on which was weird. I had to take that as a sign since that song reminds me most of my miscarriage. That is the song. Then “Wake Up” came on. Such a lullaby.
My entree came with a generous portion of red peppers. This bummed me out because I cannot stomach any peppers & the menu did not really allude to peppers. The waitress was kind enough to not charge us & let me order something else. Bobby says he saw a worker on their break eating my rejected dish. Guess that is a benefit of working there.
5/4: we had lunch at Pane Bianco. Another fav despite the douchers behind us. Weird that the space used to be Lux.
5/4 in pictures
Afterwards we had breakfast at Astor House. I had been looking forward to this for awhile! I had a Japanese Drip iced coffee, my first caffeinated beverage in a long while. Delicious. We also shared some beet hash, frittata, biscuits with gravy, and a donut. It was super nice.
May 4th in pictures
It was a Mental Health Day.
We took the Jetta into the shop & in return got a stinky ass Chevy Cruz from Hertz. It smelled like cigarette smoke.
Can’t leave work despite a very valid reason - I just want to go home & cry.
I killed a bird today. A little bird. It flew right into my windshield. My heart sank. I never killed a bird before. Which then reminded me that I (well, my body) has killed a little embryo. One that was due to make his/her appearance on or around this Friday. I would have been as big as a house but as happy as a clam.
Most go on to successful reproduce within a few months after a miscarriage. But not us. But I recently adopted the whole “Y’KNOW WHAT, I DON’T CARE” persona, which has been nice but is just a lie. I care too much.
This bird I killed then went on to unleash the above mentioned flood gate of shit I try desperately to keep at bay. But really it’s like a tiny little girl with her back against the door of a room where lions are just pouncing, waiting to get out.
The heartbreaking journey we’ve been on for 20 months. I may never be a mother. There. Now you all know.
Today is Tuesday. I have had froyo 3 days in a row this week. I also realized today there is a froyo place within driving distance from my work (see above for a representation of my face when I realized this). I’m really sorry, stomach, but that pooch is about to get poochier.
(Source: animalitos)
